


A Day in the Host Club

by MarieLorax



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: An allegedly funny fic, Canon Universe, Haruhi is done with all of them, Hikaru and Kaoru are the spawns of the devil, Honey is way too cute, Kyouya will always be suspicious, Mori is way too silent, Tamaki is as extra as ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-02 19:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21166670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieLorax/pseuds/MarieLorax
Summary: At Ouran High School, we have the honor to have the insanely popular Host Club, a place where young maidens with too much time on their hands, spend quality time (and money) with one of the, equally handsome and charming, seven hosts.Now, why don't you join us for a fabulous trip in a normal day at Ouran Academy? Most precisely, a day in the Host Club.





	1. { Welcome to Ouran Academy }

Ouran Academy. One of the most, if not the most, prestigious school in Japan. It is a place of the people, rich people. Like crazy _rich_ people. Like insanely-incredibly-ridiculously-crazy rich people. It has one of the best, if not the best, school program, offering a rich (_like our student, get it..?_) amount of high quality classes and extracurricular activities.

Our motto, "_Lineage counts first; wealth a close second_", explains by itself our school functioning. This means that every single students with an important family background (business and prestigious like) are given a priority entrance over those from lower social or economic status (a.k.a commoners and stuff). But, every year, we offer full scholarship to one Japanese student (without a special family background) who has the best score on a really difficult test (_aren't we the best..?_).

We also have a special hierarchy based on pedigree rank and school grades. There is : The A Class, which are considered as the 'Elite' students, the B Class (lower grades and pedigree), the C Class (much lower grades and pedigree) and the D Class who are mostly Yakuza's children (_yes, Yakuzas are everywhere_) and have the lowest pedigree and grades.

Our school probably have the most gorgeous and stunning architecture out of any other school (_no, we are not pretentious, it is factually very true)_. Many of its buildings are inspired by a lot of famous european monuments. We also have many sakura trees and gardens.

Last thing, we have the honor to have the insanely popular Host Club, a place where young maidens, with too much time on their hands, spend quality time (_and money_) with one of the, equally handsome and charming, seven hosts.

You must be baffled by our incredible and unique school (_and we understand you_). And now, why don't you join us for a fabulous trip in a normal day at Ouran Academy? Most precisely, a day in the Host Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first ever ao3 fic!!
> 
> I have worked on this fanfiction for a long time and I am super excited to finally post it! 
> 
> Because they are kinda introduction chapters, the first two chapters are kinda short, but the others will be longer.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading, it means so much to me!!!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated ;)


	2. { Welcome to the Host Club }

Music Room Number 3. Where all the magic happens. A legend says that when you open its door, roses petals are going to gently fly out of the door, and that every member of the host club, standing in an elaborate position, will welcome you exactly at the same time. Quite welcoming right..?

Anyways, it is time to enter this room for ourselves.

\----

_Meanwhile in Music Room Number 3..._

Kaoru and Hikaru are playing cards, Honey is having a tea party with his bunny Usa-chan, Mori is sitting on the edge of a window, Kyouya is checking the club's budget, Haruhi is studying and Tamaki is trying to beat the world record of 'most potato rings on a person's fingers'. Nothing unusual.

Suddenly, Mori jolts.  
The others turn in his direction.

"Someone, is coming" Mori says with an incredibly serious tone.

Everyone in the room jumps out of their place very quickly and Tamaki begins to yell orders to everyone in a very dramatic way.

"HIKARU! BRING THE ROSES PETALS!"

"YES MILORD!" Hikaru answers way too seriously before running to the back of the room.

"KAORU! BRING THE FAN!"

"YES MILORD!" answers Kaoru almost in a military way.

"HARUHI! CLEAN THE PLACE!"

"Okay..." she says, accustomed to this ridiculously 'intense' procedure.

"EVERYONE ELSE IN POSITION!"

Mori, Kyouya and Honey run to the middle of the room, just in front of the door. They stop when they arrive at their positions (there are marks on the floor). Tamaki joins them, quickly followed by Haruhi.

Kaoru comes with the club's special fan (making rose petals fly since 2002) and puts it down on a strategic place. He starts it and then hurries to his place. Hikaru remplaces his brother, a basket of roses in his arms. He waits until the second the door begins to open to throw the roses in front of the fan before running to his position.

The door fully opens.  
The petals successfully fly out of the room.

Tamaki begins to whisper, ''One...Two...Three...Four...Five''

''Welcome, to the Host Club" they all say, perfectly synchronized.

Soon enough, the identity of the person who has entered is revealed.  
It's... A boy ?

Absolutely nothing wrong with that, but...  
It is quite unusual, let's say.

He looks really surprised and a bit embarrassed.  
He coughs nervously before saying, "Sorry...Wrong room."

Then he awkwardly walks away, carefully closing the door behind him.

After a long five minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kyouya quickly walks away and says, "Let's never talk about this again." A second later, everyone shrugs and follows him.

The next day they all forgot it.


	3. { Meet the Hosts }

  
Now is the moment that you were all waiting for. The Host Club is officially open for business (_hell yeah_). You have the exclusive chance to attend at one of their famous tea-and-conversation session (_no need to thank us_).

Let's see who is your type...

\----

** _The Prince type_ **

First off, Tamaki (a.k.a Milord), president and Daddy (_as he call himself...)_ of the club.

He tends to be really (_like really_) overdramatic. He sees himself as this perfect-handsome-gorgeous-fabulous-dream-like-romantic-did-I-said-perfect?-divine prince (_*breaths out*_). And boy does he takes himself seriously...

(_He's a very kind hearted person though_)

...

Tamaki, King of the Host Club, is sitting beside a beautiful young maiden (_his actual customer, but shush it's less romantic that way_). After gently putting down his cup of tea, he slowly turns his gaze upon the frail lady by his side, softly smiling at her. She blushes, overwhelmed by the surreal weight of this (_self-proclaimed_) deity's look on her pure skin. She shyly looks away, her heart pounding like never before.

"Oh, Tamaki..." She whispers melancolically.

Tamaki smiles again. He quickly moves toward the girl and, when he is close enough, delicately takes a hold of her chin and, in a very romantic and delicate maneuver, moves her head, making them directly face each other.

"My princess, don't be scared... I will be your knight ; always there for you, always protecting you, always there to love you!" He tells her very dramatically.

The girl cannot believe what is happening to her. She feels so many emotions, she could almost faint. "Tamaki..."

Tamaki (_her said prince_) is now taking his act to another level, gesturing more dramatically than necessary, being way too intense as usual. "My love, I will protect you with my life!!"

Then, he stops, posing, a hand pointing up and another covering his face, knees on the ground. And suddenly, a spotlight, coming from nowhere (_well, actually it comes from the ceiling, but whatever_), hits him, increasing the intensity of the moment. Finally, Tamaki, overwhelmed by the drama, falls to the ground (_probably to represent death..? I guess..? I mean, I'm no tragedian..._) and slowly, the light fades. _**THE END**_

Now, now, contain your tears everyone, you must be baffled and speechless after having the incredible chance to witness one of Tamaki's _over-the-top_ act. No need to cry, faint or die, just applause this genius tragedian.

_ **The Little Devil type** _

They come in pair, you guessed it, it's the twins.  
Hikaru and Kaoru, the devils of the club.

They have _literally_ the same face and they pretend to be in love with each other to entertain young maidens. (_It's not as weird and fucked up as it sounds... Or is it..?_) They **looove** to fool around and, warning, when they're bored, prepare for the worst.

...

Two young girls (_with-too-much-time-and-money-on-their-hands_) are sitting at one of the club's tables. Right in front of them, Hikaru and Kaoru, as handsome as always. All four of them are having a good time, laughing and talking with ease.

Hikaru smirks, looks at his brother mischievously, then turns to the girls. "Did I ever tell you that Kaoru is afraid of spiders?"

His twin stares at him, his eyes wide and his brows pointed, totally offended, "Hikaru!!"

"Just the other day, he ran to me screaming in tears, begging me to kill the _monstrous_ spider in our room" Hikaru laughs.

"Hikaru!!! Why are you saying this?! Are you trying to humiliate me?!" Kaoru says embarrassed, tears forming on the corner of his eyes.

Hikaru looks at his younger brother intensely, "It's just that... I like it when you need me to protect you..."

"Hikaru..."

Kaoru blushes and timidly lowers his head. Hikaru notices and, in a very delicate and caring way, grabs his brother's cheeks. Then, he approaches his face, making his and Kaoru's nose touch.

"Kaoru..." he whispers in his twin's ear.

They are both in a very suggestive position, looking like they're going to kiss very passionately at any moment.

And, if you already forgot, there are still two maidens right in front of them, enjoying the show. And by enjoying, I mean being hysterical AF.

And this is because : TWINCEST BROTHERLY LOVE IS AMAZING.  
_Thank you._

_ **The Cool type** _

Now's time for the club's vice-president, Mommy and Dark Lord; Kyouya Ootori. He's Tamaki's best-friend (_whether he likes it or not_) and co-founder of the club. He's taking care of every finance-related business (budget, statistics, etc) and is _pretty_ serious about it. I mean, he won't lend you money without any benefit (_he's doing **business**, not charity Honey_).

At first sight, he might seem very cold, calculative and stingy (_which he kinda is though..?_), but, underneath this indifferent facade, is actually a good and caring person (_pretty surprising right?_). Also, even if he will never ever say it, he really (_like really_) loves the host club.

...

Kyoya is standing in the corner of the room by himself, writing in his notepad, probably calculating the club's budget or something. Suddenly, three young maidens (_with-too-much-time-and-money-on-their-hands_) run to him, excited and nervous at the same time (_trust me, standing next to a god like Kyouya is not an easy thing_).

"Why don't you join us for tea senpai ?" the girls ask, blushing.

Kyoya faces them and smiles elegantly, "I appreciate the offer, but seeing you enjoy yourselves in our club already makes me more happy than enough".

The maiden's eyes widen, their cheeks turn from light pink to red and a small gasp of fangirling leaves their mouth. Kyouya is just so _damn_ charming. They leave him shyly, a bit hesitant (_because how could they leave such a perfect being like Kyouya_), running toward another host.

Now alone again, Kyouya goes back to his _serious mode_, then continues whatever he was previously doing with his notepad. Not a minute has passed that a loud fangirling scream surprises him, making him jolt quickly. Slightly annoyed, he raises his head in the direction of the noise, looking for its cause.

It's Hikaru and Kaoru with their twincest brotherly love. No surprise there. They are surrounded by hysterical girls, internally and externally screaming. Kyouya smirks, then quickly walks in their direction. He is smelling an _opportunity_.

One of the fangirls notices him, "Kyoya-senpai! What are you looking for?"

Kyoya smiles at her, "I just want to know what is going on".

The girl's smile widens, "It's just that Hikaru and Kaoru's twincest brotherly love is AMAZING !!!"

Kyoya adjusts his glasses, backing them up on his nose with his index, then turns in the girl's direction, facing her with a bright and confident smile. "Well, yes indeed it is amazing! So amazing that we are even selling _limited edition_ photo books of their passionate and forbidden love! **Only 150000¥ each**" he says brightly, taking the said photo books out of his pocket.

The girl is totally shook. She stares, eyes wide, mouth open (_almost watering_) at the books in Kyoya's hands. In a question of seconds, she takes her checkbook (_well yes, ouran high schoolers carry checkbooks around_) out of her pocket, writes a check to the host club, hands it to Kyoya, violently grabs the books out of his hands and runs out the club, eager to contemplate the pictures as soon as possible.

Yeah, Kyoya's also a _damn_ salesman.

_ **The Lolita-Shota type \ The Wild type** _

He looks like he's nine, but is actually eighteen, that's Honey, host club very own lolita for ya'. And let's not forget Mori, Honey's silent companion (and cousin).

If you come across one of them, the other won't be too far (_they're literally always together_). Also, they have a very... _unique_ relationship.

...

A small group of maidens (_with-too-much-time-and-this-is-getting-old)_ are waiting at one of the club's table. Honey and Mori are a bit late...

"We're here~~!" a high pitched childish voice suddenly yells.

It's Honey...  
Who is currently on Mori's back.

When they arrive at the table, Mori carefully drops Honey on the ground."Good morning ladies~~!" Honey says with his usual cute voice.

And, as you can imagine, it is _pretty effective _with the girls.

"Awww..." squeal the maidens, feeling blessed by this innocent angel. They greet him and Mori - who's only response is a thankful nod - with a sweet smile.

Suddenly, Honey jolts. He turns to his customers, "I haven't eat breakfast, sooo... Let's eat cake~~!" The girls agree, because they clearly can't say no to this precious child, while Mori silently disapproves with Honey's alimentation.

The tiny host grabs a way too generous portion of the strawberry cake propped on the table, opens his mouth at its maximum capacity, and eats it. "Yummm~~!" Honey squeals, "This the best cake I've had, you have to try it girls~~!"

The maidens giggle in awe, "Of course Honey! We are more than happy to!"

Then, Honey makes their heart and motherly instinct explode, giving them his ultimate sweet innocent child smile, a smile that could take over the world.

While the maidens recover from Honey's secret weapon, Mori takes an handkerchief out of his pocket, and turns to face the other host's right side. "Mitsukuni, you have cream on your face", he says calmly, wiping Honey's cheek.

This is it, the final hit. Overwhelmed and emotionally knocked out, the maidens are officially K.O, beaten in no time by this illegally adorable duo.

  
_ **The Natural type** _

Last but not least, the club's one and only commoner; Haruhi Fudjioka (not to be confused with fudgy okra).

And now's the tea : _He's a she._

Let me explain :

**O**nce **U**pon a **T**ime,

_A kid put gum in Haru's hair  
It was annoying so she cut it right there_

_When her father returned home,  
The crime had already been done_

_Tomboy Haruhi,_  
_ Who couldn't care less about not looking girly_  
_ Went to Ouran nervously_  
_ In search of a quiet library_  
_ In order to study_

_Music Room Number Three  
Oh poor Haruhi_

_Never expected what was inside  
Never expected roses petals to fly_

_Never expected to break a statuette  
And never expected to be obligated to be a host in order to clear a debt_

_ **FIN** _

And that kid, was Haruhi's story.  
Now let's talk about her for a second.

So she's a natural. In short, she's not putting an _over-the-top_ act to entertain her customers; she is just being herself and it **works**.

So for today's lesson : " _JUST BE YOURSELF KID_ "

...

"So, for the summer break, we're going to our _little_ mansion in our private island in the Caribbean, right next to the sea"

Haruhi is so tired of these damn rich people.

Even though she is slightly annoyed by her client lowkey bragging, she kindly smiles at her, "How lucky you are! I've always dreamed of going there. Unfortunately, my family can't afford a vacation of this expense..."

The maiden looks at her with pity, "Oh poor Haruhi, don't tell me you never been to the Caribbean..?" This statement catches the attention of other clients and inevitably, of the other members of the club.

"_Oh_ _crap_" thinks Haruhi.

Tamaki is heading toward her, an outraged look on his face.

"_Crap_ _crap_ _crap_"

He arrives at her table, surrounded by a group of maidens. He clears his throat and begins to move his arms dramatically, like a grand gesture. "I can't believe it! How can my precious Haruhi never visited the Caribbean! This is a disgrace! I have to do something... As the king, no, as the father of this club, this is my responsibility, my duty!"

He pauses, covering his face with his hands, showing how seriously he is taking this "urgent" matter. Then, he raises his head with a confident smile. He turns around, facing the hosts and the maidens, and announces loudly, "It's official, the Host Club is having a trip to the Caribbean!" Everyone cheers, filled with excitement.

Everyone, except Haruhi... She is mortified.

"Frickin' rich people" she mutters to herself, "So damn extra"


	4. { Time for a Wonderful Club Activity }

As you remember, we previously left off with a surprise exclusive host club event: a trip to the Caribbean. Well yes, your average high school club couldn't even afford a club room, but Ouran High School's clubs sure could afford a trip to the Caribbean.

So there they are, enjoying the light breeze of the sea and the warm sun of the south, having the time of their life on the Suoh's private beach. Private island, actually, because yes, the Suoh's family is that rich (_and you ain't seen nothin' yet..._).

Where were we..? Ah yes, everyone is having the time of their life, everyone being the seven hosts and some of their clients. And when I say everyone, it's really everyone, _including_ Haruhi.

Even if she thinks that this whole trip is incredibly stupid and unnecessary, she can still enjoy a free trip to the Caribbean (_I mean who wouldn't?_). "Unless it's somehow added to my debt...", she thinks, knowing Kyoya's calculative nature. She lets the thought go and looks around.

Honey is swimming with his cute water wings (_which he doesn't need in the slightest, but wears to increase his cuteness_), Mori is sitting on a rock, contemplating the sea intensely, Hikaru and Kaoru are playing volleyball with some guests, and Tamaki is feeling this beach fantasy, calling maidens "his mermaids, the princesses of the sea who enchanted his heart with their surreal charm and melodious voice".

"Yeah, nothing unusual" thinks Haruhi, enjoying a refreshing popsicle, courtesy of the Suoh's frozen product business. She is sitting by herself, propped on a Beach towel, feet buried in the warm sand. In short; she's living her best life.

"HARUHIIIII!!!"

Rectification, she was living her best life.

"Oh crap" mutters Haruhi, seeing and hearing Tamaki running towards her joyfully, a big childish smile on his face.

"How are you enjoying the Caribbean my dear?" He asks her cheerfully, without a doubt that she is indeed enjoying it.

Haruhi sighs. She doesn't want to give Tamaki the answer he is seeking and waiting for and amplify his ego, but she feels that she should give him credit for this unexpected yet fun vacation.

"It's actually pretty great, I like it a lot" she answers with a soft smile.

"Seeeee, it wasn't a bad idea to come here! Actually it was a great idea, no, an EXTRAORDINARY idea I should say! An idea that only I could come up with!!" He says proudly, accompanying his speech with grand gestures.

"Yeah, yeah... Congratulations senpai" Haruhi tells him, beginning to be annoyed.

"Ha, ha! Well thank you! You see, that's why you should listen to me more Haruhi... Someone gifted with a wonderful brain, such as I, is always willing to help the weaker minds! Never underestimate my infinite knowledge and generosity! My bright mind will enlighten your life, making it more-"

"There he goes again..." Haruhi thinks, sighing of desperation. Nothing can stop a passionate and overconfident Tamaki who just happens to receive an ego boost (_a.k.a a compliment_).

"-more entertaining, romantic, passionate and well thought out! With me by your side, nothing bad can happen! Luck is my best friend and King my second na- OWW IN THE HEAD!!!"

Tamaki's elaborate and passionate speech is suddenly interrupted by a violent volleyball headshot, courtesy of the mischievous twins.

"HAHAHA YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE!!!" Yell Hikaru and Kaoru, bursting into laughter.

"HOW DARE YOU TO INTERRUPTED MY INSPIRATIONAL AND LIFE CHANGING SPEECH??? HARUHI'S LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS ADVICE!! SHE IS NOW DOOMED BECAUSE OF YOU MONSTERS!!" Yells Tamaki, outraged.

"Huh? What are you saying senpai?! I'm not "doomed", I'm super fine on my own, geez..." Haruhi says now really annoyed, almost pissed.

Tamaki's jaws drop and his eyes widen, "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT?!? ARE YOU GOING THROUGH YOUR REBELLIOUS PHASE?!?"

Oops, I forgot to explain how Tamaki seriously sees himself as the father figure of the host club and its members (and Kyoya as the mother figure), and yes, it is indeed very weird.

When they heard their "father" yell at Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru were on the ground (well, _sand_), laughing hysterically to the point of tears. "THIS IS HILARIOUS" they say in unison.

Tamaki yells at them in response, which only increase their hilarity. Haruhi is now tired and done with this chaotic mess, "Senpai, I was having a great time before you came. Could you please leave?"

This cold line from his beloved "daughter" hits Tamaki as violently as a Ferrari at maximum speed. A critical hit he can't recover from.

"_You're... Asking... Me... To..to... Leave... Haruhi..?_" He murmurs weakly.

"Exactly senpai. You're annoying me"

Another critical hit; Tamaki is now K.O. Shocked, humiliated and devastated, he proceeds to leave. He then sits down (using the good old foetal position) alone in front of a rock, his back facing Haruhi.

"_I'm.... Annoying..?_" He cries to himself silently.

While Tamaki reflects on his questionable behaviour, Haruhi is now facing another obstacle: the twins.

"So, what do you want to do Haruhi..?" Asks Hikaru.

"Yeah, it's a shame that you can't go swimming with all these customers..." Adds Kaoru.

Haruhi sighs; she just wants to relax on the beach by herself.

"Oh, I know! There's this super haunted cave on another island nearby, even locals are too afraid to go in..." Proposes Hikaru without waiting for Haruhi's answer.

"Now that sounds fun! Let's bring some customers too!" Kaoru agrees, excited.

"Come on Haruhi, let's go!" Hikaru tells her, while Kaoru gathers everyone.

"Here we go again..." Haruhi mumbles, frustrated that they decided without her saying a single word. She gets up and walks toward the rest of the group.

Hikaru smiles, proud that he came up with this brilliant plan. He then turns to Tamaki, still sitting alone in self-pity. "Hey boss" Hikaru yells to him. "Wanna go to a famous haunted cave?"

Tamaki turns in his direction. He still hasn't recovered from Haruhi's ego punch. "_A... Haunted... Cave..?_"

"Yes, and Haruhi's coming too!" Hikaru says back suggestively, persuaded that this will convince his lord to come.

And yes, it definitely did, because in the grand theater of Tamaki's mind, this was playing:

  
"_Oh Tamaki, I'm so scared!", yells Haruhi, terrified by the cave._

_"Don't worry my dear, with me by your side, you will always be safe", murmurs Tamaki elegantly to Haruhi's ear._

_"I'm so glad you're here Tamaki... Promise me that you'll never leave me", says Haruhi, drowning into the eyes of the beautiful prince in front of her._

_"I promise, I'll never leave you... I'll never leave you, Haruhi", Tamaki whispers, his head resting on Haruhi's, his arms gently holding her._

  
"Hu... Why are you laughing Milord..?"

Oh, seems that we're back in the good old boring reality.

Tamaki is blushing and giggling of joy by himself, which is kinda creepy.

"Should I be worried..?" Hikaru asks him, completely lost.

Tamaki clears his throat, realising he was daydreaming, "No, no, absolutely not" He gets up, weeps the sand off his clothes, then heads towards the others with the older twin. He climbs on a rock in order to be seen by the group, then, he begins his announcement speech.

"Attention everyone! The Host Club is now offering an exclusive once in a lifetime horror event! Be ready to be spooked, amazed and, of course, protected by your seven handsome princes! And now, to the haunted cave we shall go!"


	5. { Spooky Dooky Adventure }

Now, now, let's resume:

Hikaru had a great idea, probably the best idea he ever had in fact (_said him_), which was a trip to a horrifying cave in the Caribbean. Once Daddy approved, they all jumped on boats, navigating toward an island nearby, the island were they would find the one, the only: **_Spooky Cave_**. So here they were, finally arrived at their destination, ready to be horrified, terrified and, most importantly, have a masculinity boost by protecting frivolous maidens.

On their way to the cave, Hikaru and Kaoru were telling all sorts of stories, in order to get the maidens scared even more, making them terrified about the thought of entering this cursed place.

It was extremely effective, worked like a charm. Right now, every customer of the club is squealing of stress and fear, holding closely the most nearby host, looking for a feeling of safety. The ones with the most demands are Honey and Mori, both being martial arts champions (_yeah, they will seriously take the world over someday..._).

On the other way, Haruhi is feeling anything but scared, trying to find some sort of entertainment out of this unwanted activity. Though, it seems like Tamaki didn't notice or just denied it because it didn't worked with his fantasy...

"Are you sure you want to do this Haruhi? You know my dear, if you're scared, I can protect you..." Says Tamaki, full of hope.

Haruhi rolls her eyes, "I'm not a kid! This kind of paranormal urban legends are never scary, come on"

Tamaki, in denial, continues, "Haruhi, you shouldn't be ashamed! Being scared or stressed in a scary environment is a very human reaction... Don't worry, I'm here, living your pain with you, helping you get through it"

"...you know what? Forget it senpai, it's too dumb to fight about" sighs Haruhi, already done with this situation, knowing damn well how quickly it could escalate.

She leaves Tamaki, now completely and utterly mortified by his "daughter's" indifference towards his remarkable charm and exquisite gentlemanly manners. His (_self-proclaimed_) daughter decides to walk closer towards the cave's entrance, her goal being to get further from Tamaki as much as possible.

"It's truly fascinating to see how he has no effect on you, even though thousands of girls would pay a fortune just to see him breathe" Kyoya comments, amused, while Haruhi passes nearby him.

She shrugs, not really having something to say about the comment. A second later, the twins run toward Tamaki, urging him to make the "we are now going to the cave" speech. Still shocked by his "daughter's" coldness, Tamaki takes a minute to get back on track.

When he is his usual confident self again, he announces loudly, "Ladies and hosts, prepare yourselves! In a second, you may lose your soul to demons, you may die of terror, or you may be horrified by the unspoken devils of our world... But, you may certainly also be saved by your favorite cavalry: the vaillant Host Club! Now, if you may, let's enter the cave for ourselves..."

\----

"Hu, senpai? Could you please let go of me?"

Not even five minutes has passed since they entered, and Tamaki is already 100% terrified, squeezing Haruhi's arm to somehow feel less spooked.

"_But... But I'm scared Haruhi..._" He murmurs weakly, shaking intensely.

Haruhi sighs, and lets it go (_I mean, just look at the poor boy..._), "Alright senpai, but don't cause a mess please"

Tamaki nods nervously in response, giving her a weak yet cute smile as a thank you. Haruhi rolls her eyes, with a soft smile though, feeling somewhat amused by the situation.

Then, they tag along the rest of the group, everyone walking in a tight row, almost suffocating because of the narrowness of the cave's path. Hikaru and Kaoru are leading, torches in hand (_because it's just so more dramatic than flashlights_) and maidens behind, Honey and Mori are in the middle, ready to attack any suspicious being, and finally, Tamaki, Haruhi and Kyoya are at the very end, slowed down because of how chicken their president is (_a.k.a Tamaki_).

It's been over fifteen minutes now, and nothing has really happened. The twins, who were still working up the chilling vibe with more juicy rumors moments ago, gave up, kind of tired of this uneventful trip.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm bored" says Hikaru with a detached tone.

"Same here" adds Kaoru.

"So how about we-" the twins both begins, but stops when the torches get blown out mysteriously. The only source of light is gone, so now everything is completely black.

In short, they're all unexpectedly blinded by the darkness in a, allegedly, haunted cave. So everyone panics.

"WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS???" The twins yell, being actually scared.

"KYAAAAA!!! SOMETHING TOUCHED ME!!!" A maiden yells.

"TAKESHI I'M AFRAID!!!" Honey cries.

"PROTECT ME MORI SENPAIIII!!!" Another girl squeals.

"I told you so; flashlights" Kyoya adds unnecessarely for his own amusement.

"AN EVIL SPIRIT! AN EVIL SPIRIT BLEW THE TORCHES OH MY GOD!! WE'RE TRAPPED! DOOMED! DONE FOR! I DON'T WANNA DIE HARUHIIII" Tamaki cries loudly, squeezing Haruhi so hard that he could almost break her in two.

"Oh god damn it-EVERYONE PLEASE JUST CALM DOWN!!!" Yells Haruhi, annoyed by this enormous chaos (_yet again!_).

Silence comes back again. Everyone got surprised that Haruhi, such a soft spoken and calm person, raised her voice so angrily.

"Okay, okay... Thank you", Haruhi says, calming down."Now, why don't we just head out?"

"Ye..yes" everyone agrees.

So they now begin to leave, Haruhi leading the group in complete darkness. But the moment they start moving, a deep guttural growl from behind startle the shit out of them.

"FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M OUT" yells a customer running towards the exit after a brief moment of stressed silence of disbelief.

She is almost immediately followed by a group of terrified maidens, all squealing. The hosts are still still and silent, in complete and utter shock. Not Tamaki senpai though.

More scared than ever, he is running for his life intensely, until... until he slips on a banana peel. _Glorious_.

The rest of the hosts, distracted by Tamaki's fail, didn't sense the movements behind them. And, suddenly, there was light.

Chills go down their spines as they notice a light from behind. They all freeze, not really knowing how to react and terrified to discover who, or **_what_**, is behind them.

"What now?!" Haruhi grunts, a bit startled, breaking the heavy silence between them.

"Okay, okay, we need to get ourselves together..!" Murmurs Hikaru to the group, trying to be confident even though he is shaking like a maniac.

"Yes..! On three, we turn around, okay..?" Adds Kaoru, also petrified but willing to do something about this situation.

Mori nods firmly, Honey nods with hesitation, Haruhi nods, Kyoya shrugs and Tamaki... Tamaki is just straight up dying of fear on the ground.

"Okay... One... Two..." Starts counting Kaoru.

"Three!" They all turn around.

They are in front of five silhouettes covered with black capes, four of them holding creepy candles. The light reflects on the demonic smile of the one in the middle, making him look scarier than he already is. Then, with no warning, he laughs loudly, sounding like a madman, the sound of his evil laughter echoing on the walls of the cave.

The seven faces watching him, with the exception of the _ever-so-composed_ Kyoya, are livid, truly fearing for their life. After a moment, the creepy guy stops laughing, but doesn't stop smiling. He clears his throat, then, in perfect harmony and synchronisation, the five of them say:

"Welcome, to the Black Magic Club"


End file.
